


I'm Sorry I Failed You

by GrayWardenSuledin



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Annette Fantine Dominic - Freeform, Ashen Demon Byleth, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Character Death, Mercedes Von Martritz - Freeform, Post-Time Skip, Spoilers for Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), kind of, mentions of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25130929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayWardenSuledin/pseuds/GrayWardenSuledin
Summary: Post time skip. Byleth wakes to a world so different than the one she knew.  She feels like she failed her students and especially Dimitri. Now she trives to protect them the best she can.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Kudos: 17





	I'm Sorry I Failed You

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you," Byleth starts. It's the dead of night and everyone else is sleeping. But Byleth hasn't slept much since she woke. It seems her body isn't ready to sleep again. Or it's just her mind being plagued with the faces of all of her students. "I know it's been a long time for everyone else, but it's only been a few months for me." 

She's looking down at the grave. He had been buried near his wife, Byleth's _mother_ , in the cemetery. A full moon is shining down on them, bathing the area in a pale light.

"Father, I failed them." She only vaguely feels like crying. It's not persistent and it passes soon enough. "We never failed. _I_ never failed. So you never taught me what to do with failure."

"I was supposed to protect them. I tried so _hard_ to protect them. I can't tell you how many times I heard their final cries of pain. Heard their last words. I watched them die so many times before. But I could protect them then. Could use my power to erase that from everyone else's minds."

"But I can't erase 5 years. And I abandoned them. Abandoned him," Byleth almost whispers. "After you died, he vowed his strength to me. He would have brought his entire kingdom to my aid if I had wished it. And I left him, like everyone else in his life."

Byleth sighs. Seeing Dimitri in the monastery after her long slumber, covered in dirt and blood. So different than she remembered. She had grown to care for all of her students. They were a new family to her. And seeing the crown prince like that had stopped her in her tracks. "I failed him and I don't know how I can help him now. I would exchange my life if it would bring back his."

She sighs again as the wind picks up. She barely feels it. Though she hasn't felt much since Jeralt died. "I fear he will lead them to their deaths and I will be unable to save them. Any of them."

Her eyes slowly rise to the sky. "Oh, Sothis, I wish I could hear you still. You would know what to do here."

The only answer she gets now is silence. "I guess the only thing I can do now is protect them. I abandoned them, abandoned him, before, I will not do it again. I will follow him wherever he leads me, even if it means my death. It is the least I can do for failing him so utterly."

"I will make it up to them."

* * *

"Professor, Dimitri has gone ahead. We tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen." 

Byleth almost screams in frustration. Dimitri seems determined to die in these fights. "I will get him. The rest of you fall back."

"But Professor-" Felix starts.

"Go."

There is no further arguing after that. The rest of the squad falls back to their cover. They had been fighting in a valley near Alliance territory since dawn and the sun was about to start setting. They had been setting up way points as they pushed further into the valley. Their latest one was a few meters back.

Byleth turns and surveys the battlefield again. All around her are the sounds of battle. Clangs of metal on metal, screams of victory and agony in almost equal measures. Through the fighting bodies, she can barely make out the looming figure a few yards away, surrounded by enemies. 

She looks at Thorn, her Wyvern, but she would be too slow among the trees and Byleth doesn't have time to lose. She pulls her dagger from her belt and rushes into the fray. 

She has been a mercenary for as long as she can remember. One of the best, according to the people Jeralt would work with. He taught her everything she needed to know to survive, including the fastest way to kill people. Make it as painless as possible, they didn't like torturing people.

It's not a fair or honorable way to kill them. They have no time to react, to pull out their own weapons and fight. But she can't afford those things now. As she sprints through the enemy troops, she slides her blade in place. Small weak points in the armor; the soldiers succumb easily enough.

It's easy, taking their lives. Though she never really had a problem with it before. They were the enemy and would kill her if given the chance. She slides back into her numbness quickly.

She can finally see Dimitri in front of her, less enemies now. She almost feels her heart lighten, he's ok. But then she sees it. A soldier coming up on Dimitri's blind spot as he takes on two other opponents. 

Without thinking, Byleth throws the dagger in her hand. She watches it soar through the air, hitting the enemy right after he plunges his sword in Dimitri's side. Byleth can't breathe for a moment as she watches the blood drip from the wound. Dimitri doesn't seem to notice as he keeps raging. 

But Byleth can see the blood pouring faster from his wound. Can see it coat the rest of his armor and weapon now. And she has no more pulses left.

"Seteth!" She calls above them. She knows he's up there, doing what he can to help. "Seteth!"

It takes only a moment for her to see his Wyvern approaching them. In that time, Dimitri has already killed another soldier. "Yes, Your Grace?"

"Get him out of here." She motions to Dimitri. He's slowly staggering along now. "He's lost too much blood. He won't put up a fight."

"What will you do?" Seteth asks, looking around. There is still a large concentration of enemy troops around them. The battle is far from being won. 

"I will protect them the only way I can now," Her eyes are glowing an eerie pale green in the fading sun. Her face is neutral as she slides her axe into her hands. "Get him out."

Byleth watches a moment longer as Seteth's wyvern sweeps Dimitri up in it's large clawed hands. As Byleth suspected, he doesn't fight. That's one less thing to worry about, at least. 

She remembers what the other mercs had called her. The Ashen Demon. She never minded the name, never knew what they meant. But as she centers herself, heart still not beating, she thinks she understands what they meant. And the fear they felt.

She sets out to win the battle alone. 

* * *

It's well into early morning before the Kingdom can declare victory over the battlefield. 

"Where is she?!" A voice yells through the darkness.

"We don't know." Comes a meek reply. Mercedes and Annette are standing together by one of the remaining camp fires. They are staring as Dimitri paces back and forth. 

"She sent us back here before the sun went down. We haven't seen her since." Annette says, voice steadier than Mercedes' was. 

"And you let her go by herself?!" Dimitri turns on them quickly. He had only just regained consciousness and is already about to rejoin the dwindling fight. 

"She ordered us to!" Annette glares at him defiantly.

"And we've been hearing from other soldiers. She keeps sending them all back here. The last update we had was about thirty minutes ago." Mercedes joins in. 

Dimitri only growls in frustration. "I'm going out there."

"But your wound hasn't healed enough." Mercedes and Annette are at his side in a moment. 

"I have to fin-" Dimitri cuts himself off. "I need to kill them all."

"We'll go too," Annette immediately chimes in.

"I wish we could," Mercedes starts. "But we need to stay here and heal anyone who comes back wounded."

Annette's face falls at that. "Oh, yeah. Right," She looks to the ground before looking back up to Dimitri. "You better find her and bring her back, ok?"

Dimitri doesn't meet her gaze but inclines his head ever so slightly. He will find her. He must.

With that thought, he ventures into the slowly graying battlefield. 

* * *

The first rays of sunlight are reaching the battlefield when he finally finds her. And he almost doesn't recognize her. 

She is standing still as a statue and surrounded by corpses, axe still in hand. Her bright green hair is barely visible through the blood coating it. He can barely stand to look at her like this.

He is cautious as he approaches. "Pro-" his voice breaks as he tries to speak. 

But he doesn't need to say anymore. Her head has turned to look at him and he can get a clear view of her face now. 

Her eyes are glowing pale green in the dawning light. They seem to pierce through him, sizing him up. He watches her gaze skim over every hitch in his breathe, every limp and stagger. 

Blood is splattered and smeared across her porcelin face. Blood drips from her weapon and her hands. She doesn't seem to notice. And the look in her eyes, the same vacant inhuman lack of emotion.

All those years ago when he first met her. When it looked like she held no emotions inside her. And she had told him later that she didn't. She hadn't felt anything for most of her life. 

And now, she levels that same dead look at him. "You should not be out here." She says in a monotone. 

Dimitri clears his throat before he attempts to speak again. "Neither should you." 

She faces him fully now, blood still dripping from her hands and clothes. "I am exactly where I need to be. You are injured. Go back."

"Professor, I-" Dimitri isn't sure what to say. The bodies surrounding her have the same damage as much of the bodies he passed to get here. She killed almost the entire enemy force by herself. "Please go back." And it's closer to begging than he's ever shown another living person. 

"I cannot," She says simply, eyes now scanning their surroundings. 

"Why?"

"I must protect the only way I know how," She turns her emotionless gaze to the bodies around her. "I will strike everyone else down to protect you all. So you don't have to."

Her gaze shifts back to Dimitri. 

"Professor, please, don't do this," Dimitri takes a step toward her. He hasn't allowed himself to be near her since her return. Too stained to be in her presence. But he sees the blood covering her and the vacant look in her eyes, and he realizes, they are more similar than she ever let on. 

They both have too much blood on their hands. Too many bodies piling up on their path. And he doesn't want to see her become like him. Or to fall back to what she was before. 

She had told him she never thought about not being able to feel. She didn't know anything else. And he can't allow all of that to be taken from her now. 

"Professor, come back with me." To me. "The others are waiting for you." 

"I cannot, my King. I must protect what I failed to save," Her gaze is once again scanning. 

"Failed to save?" Dimitri echoes. "What does that mean?"

The corners of Byleth's mouth turn up. It's cold and humorless. "I failed everyone. I failed _you_. And I can never atone for that. For what you have all suffered through. So I will fight."

Dimitri has gotten within arms reach of Byleth now. She finally focuses her eyes on his face once more and he can see the spark of emotion in them. "I'm sorry I failed you, my king."

She slowly reaches out her blood stained hand to him. He knows he can turn away. That she's giving him the time and space he has demanded so much recently. But he can't bring himself to do that.

Not to her.

She gently touches his cheek and he can't stop the sharp inhalation. She slowly caresses his face and he can't help but lean into it.

"You didn't fail me, Professor. Quite the opposite, actually. I thought that maybe, with you here, I could be someone else. That I might be able to move on from the ghosts of my past," When he looks in her eyes, he can see the emotions slowly returning. 

He gently places his hand over her own. "You did not fail me" He presses. 

She looks at him with glistening eyes, once again full of life. "I'm sorry, Dimitri. I didn't mean to leave."

"I know, Professor," And he gathers her in his arms, feeling her warmth seep into his very soul. 

She returns the embrace immediately, pulling him close to her. "I missed you," She whispers. He can only bury his face in her hair as a response.

They return to the camp together, hand in hand. They both have a long way to go and the war isn't close to being over, but they can now face it together.   
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Maybe a bit OOC but I like it. And if anything could snap Dimitri out of his issues, it's Byleth. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated.


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